smothered

Silent water streaming down
into the darkness of the trees
where I want to scream
rend my throat in a burst of tears
feel my legs to make them run.

I lie naked on the fallen leaves
my struggling heart is slowly torn away
my numb body can hardly crawl
my stretched arms embrace mere nothingness.

An impious forest of death
the sole witness to my nightmare
the mighty slayer of sleepwalkers
whispering loudly through the night
forbids me the dawn of a new day.

Make my day and forget
this speech of absence
this scenery world made up of little silly empty words
each time I say I love you,
definition comes to my mind:
it’s when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the

/literal meaning

Irony.

I don’t love you
I want to love you, I try to love you, I desperately need to love you
but I can’t

I can’t love you

everyday I stay home and build up this barrier between you and me

/and call it sms, msn, telephone or whatsoever

I stay home and recall all those old lost void memories where there’s

/not even an image of you, but just your absence

and if my eyes were to meet yours
then my hand would just slide away
blue blood blooming into red round cheeks
green heart fading fastly into grey
to the dark region of the very-well-known
my fortress of solitude
beneath the sky of thoughts
between the piles of books
where I can sit and smoke and write
I can do whatever I like except for

not being alone

not feeling alone

and if I can’t be with you
there’s no sense in screaming these fucking words

I love you
I want to love you
I need to love you
Even though I fear you
I need you
and I need an earthquake to swallow this hideaway
to bury all this thoughts and books and texts
so I can realize
there’s no sense in dreaming
if I can’t wake up to live my day.

You forget so easily
those words I never said
beating a hundred times a minute
each time I try to look up and scream
we ride tonight ghost horses
the great escape
from the landslide
are we ever gonna make it?
are we ever gonna be able to-

Stop that fucking shit falling over our head
game is over
we’re safe already
it’s a tie
beteween her and me
we can do nothing about it
every line was there at the right time
and if I never said a single word
it’s because you’ve fucked it all up.